#specially the Cheeto puff

[bugaloo-bug]

“Do you think it’s painful?”

(The quote is not in the actual episode, AND IM SORRY FOR THE BAD QUALITY😭😭😭)

RANT UNDERCUT

As much as I hate that angry Cheeto puff of a wet kitten for all he did to everyone, he was still my favorite character.

He only knew how to survive, never actually LIVE.

He was thrown into the world blind and suddenly gained sentience, the first thing he felt were probably fear and anger. Maybe, soft emotions felt unknown to him which made Eclipse afraid even more to trust others.

He didn’t know how to communicate or make a proper HEALTHY coping mechanism for himself, pushing everyone away and hurting them was probably one of the many unhealthy coping mechanisms he created.

Now I’m not saying that he should just get away with all he’s ever done, specially to sun and Lunar. He should face the consequences of his actions, but I honestly didn’t think this was how it would turn out.

I AM sad, but I believe that it was for the best. Sun and Lunar wouldn’t have to worry about Eclipse hurting them or their family ever again.

Though I wonder if Eclipse would maybe come back someway, maybe the creator might have something to do with it?

[space-station-nursery]

◜ 🍯𓂃 Little Snacks! ‧ 🧃◞

⁺　　◍ 　 . 　 ⁺　　☆　　⁺ 　 . 　 ◍　　⁺

People regress to all ages from infancy to young teen years, check out these snacks ideas and if there are any you'd like to try!

⁺　　◍ 　 . 　 ⁺　　☆　　⁺ 　 . 　 ◍　　⁺

⧼ 1 ⧽ Infancy/baby [0-2]

Yogurt melts teething waifers puff cereal [apple cinnamon ones are my favorite from gerber] puff cheetos dry cereal [as long as its not too sugary!] baby food pouches/apple sause/yogurt pouches finely cut fruit!

⧼ 2 ⧽ Toddlers [2-4]

Soft granola bars apple Sause/yogurt pouches Cheese sticks [string cheese] Crackers/goldfish dry cereal pretzels mini bagels yogurt tubes Graham Crackers Mini ravioli from Gerber

⧼ 3 ⧽ Kiddos [5-9] DO NOT RE-WRITE OR POST AS OWN

Teddy grahams/Scooby snacks Fruit snacks Single serving chip bags Frosted animal cookies trail mix Simple/easy sammiches Fruit slices[apples, oranges]/Whole fruit [berries] Fruit cups veggies and dip Anything you may have eaten during this age!

⁺　　◍ 　 . 　 ⁺　　☆　　⁺ 　 . 　 ◍　　⁺

18+ Blogs|| AB!DL|| DD!LG|| Over age 26 (27+) || Do not interact

Fact OTD: Sharks do not have bones! They are a special type of fish known as "elasmobranchs", which translates into fish made of cartilaginous tissues

[rainylana]

Eddie Munson headcanons

• these are all sfw, with some mentions of alcohol and getting high.

• let’s the trailer park kids color the insides of his tattoos. sometimes when he’s high he’ll even color them in too.

• when eddie first came to live with wayne they went out for breakfast every saturday. he didn’t have the money for it, but he made due. he wanted to spend time with his nephew and make special memories for eddie to have.

• eddie used to hide in his closet as a kid because it made him feel safe. the quiet and the dark soothed him. wayne assured him that his daddy would not come back, but eddie was only a little boy, so wayne would often times sit in there with him.

• goes into the grocery store and gets high off the helium in the balloons by the registers. will grab the receiver to the store and speak into like darth Vader

• there’s a neighbor across from him that he’s always had a crush on. she’s absolutely gorgeous. every time eddie sees her he waves real big before tripping over his own feet.

• wayne asked him once to do the dishes and he stomped his feet and threw the biggest tantrum. needless to say he didn’t do them.

• he is however, good at keeping his other chores up. taking out the trash, keeping up after himself. when he was a kid he used to pick wild flowers and leave them in one of wayne’s mug on the table.

• likes to put on plays for the neighbor kids. gathers them around the fireplace ring and brings his old halloween costumes. he’s got a beer or two in him that helps with the theatrics.

• wayne has to remind him to brush his teeth or he won’t do it.

• is OBSESSED with cheetos. his favorite is the puff balls.

[judasofsuburbia]

pancakes for dinner (wanna get stuck in your head) || firstprince single dad au

rating: explicit || pairing: alex claremont-diaz and henry fox-mountchristen-windsor || word count: 16116 || read here || playlist

a prologue to born a restless child

summary:

“It’s Ellie. It’s all she wants to eat right now which isn’t good so I’m using them as stepping stones for actual meals. Like ‘eat this oatmeal and you can have a Cheeto puff’. And it’s this whole cycle. I had to carry her out the door today so maybe she had some hidden in her hands.”

Henry is quiet for a moment and says, “So Ellie is…”

Oh. God. 

Alex hasn’t told Henry about Ellie yet. 

or: alex is a single dad who is absolutely taken by the cute writer in the coffee shop he frequents. as their relationship progresses, alex has to learn romance all over again. this time with an adorable little girl waiting at home.

an extra special thank you to @seths-rogens for being my beta reader, giving me beautiful sentences and suggestions when i was stuck, and being my british culture consultant. and for being my best friend. this fic quite literally wouldn't exist without you. loving you big time<3

[prettykikimora]

I used to work for this dump so I know all about the nasty attempts at sweet cheeto puffs. Nobody likes these. These go bad on shelves. Thse crowd shelves, kids buy them as a dare. These expire in a week just like I suspected. These are on a special deal with family dollar and other assorted smaller venues, they had the equally nasty Christmas snowflakes that also all staled out on shelves. You don't have a choice in these when writing orders. They will put them on your truck and you gotta sell them because they're promotional. Here's what happened, either for whatever reason this random independent truck stop in Indiana had these on order, OR more likely the case, the rsr saw these weren't selling at the family dollar and convinced this poor store owner to buy these so they could just offload them, offset their stale count for a single store, probably looking to hit their sales quota bonus. Long story short is these famously suck and never sell and they're a fuckin pain. Just a guarantee when you see them you're gonna be tossing them in the dumpster in a couple months with 1 sold, you're gonna bring one home because you hate food waste but you're not even gonna touch them bevause you know they're gross and you don't wanna try it.

[amalgamcorps]

i had to take one of our cats to the vet today because he just suddenly wasnt acting the same over night but they said hes probably just got a sensitive tummy and that we're just gonna put him on a medicated diet until we can cancel out other things.. i just hope there is no underlying issue and he is in fact . just a cheeto puff with tummy twubles, because we did have to switch their cat food recently cuz the place we go to just didnt have the one we normally buy in stock and simon didnt like it. 100 dollars for this special damn cat food, i gotta get my ass in gear. anyways tl;dr my cat has weak little baby tummy and his food is expensive expect more art so i can start taking regular commissions hopefully. nothing is more important to me than making sure hes okay , and we sunk 300$ into that so its my job to make it up somehow...

[crushpunchh-art]

Lilith is so special to me bcs she's like so complicated and I love every aspect of her character lol

Also love the way you express her guilt thru Ur art!!

I feel like not enough people explore that.

Like, Lilith spent 30 years in the cult, most of her life, and despite being a victim it also probably caused her to do horrible things, especially to loved ones (i.e. Eda), almost killing Luz (a child), and it left her morality to be very flawed especially in S1 and what we can assume was in-between her initiation and her leaving.

And imagine the guilt for her actions. Like yk she's just cringing at all the horrible things she did in the past, and the horrible things she let be done to her "for the greater good".

Hopefully this made sense :3

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. ALL OF THIS EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS ASK. i feel like a lot of the time when people talk about lilith they act like its umm. a lot more black and white than it is? like either shes The Literal Devil (dont see this very often but theres this ONE GUY ON THE OWL HOUSE FANDOM WIKI.... endless entertainment watching them i promise you.) or Only a victim who Never did anything wrong.

like i love her BECAUSE shes garbage actually. she SUCKS in season 1. like obviously shes suffering but just. like. objectively? shes AWFUL. making fun of eda for her curse when She Caused it comes to mind. she SUCKED in s1! like, really badly! she kidnapped luz and was COMPLETELY unnecessarily menacing to gus and willow (girl chill out stop. you know damn well you could be handling this better) etc etc etc.

except also im like 90% sure she Knew she sucked. actually shes kind of the Leader of the Lilith Hater Squad. im not even sure its a case of flawed morals so much as a case of 'What Does It Matter? It's For The Greater Good'. / occasionally 'what the hell else am i supposed to do.' like does she KNOW shes doing awful things? oh totally. is she going to STOP? nope.

i would like to highlight. this part of your ask:

Like yk she's just cringing at all the horrible things she did in the past, and the horrible things she let be done to her "for the greater good".

lilith doormat truthers rise up. that woman lived under a man who hated her PERSONALLY for like 30 years. while her coworker was bullying her (Why was Kiki like that honestly like what was her damage when it came to Lilith. With Hunter okay sure. But Lilith??? Whatd she do to you???) you think she was STANDING UP FOR HERSELF? No! That woman hasn't stood up for herself since she was like 15! If she had she'd probably be dead by now!!!!

Sorry sorry sorry im ranting. I love her so much. Dumbest little cheeto puff who tries so hard and somehow still manages to do everything wrong.

TO THE ART BIT OF YOUR ASK: oh my god thank you so much!!! when im drawing her thats really like. what i try to focus on? like thats what i REALLY want to get across. that she feels so crazy guilty about everything.

thank you for having so many correct opinions about lilith. we will shake hands or if you dont want to do that we will nod approvingly at one another

[cigarretteluvr]

my condolences/happy birthday

Looking into the mirror, my finger lightly traces my forehead and cheeks. I feel the wrinkles forming already. Just a couple of years until they set deeper, as if to announce to the world my new status as an Old Maid. Maybe I should get Botox- maybe I should have gotten Botox years ago. Thankfully my eyes are puffy from last night, offsetting what otherwise would have been dark, ugly, sunken-in bags. I take my concealer and begin applying my makeup, going for a life-like, natural look. I fight the urge to add extra blush. 

A light tap at the door interrupts me. My mom peeks her head through the crack. “Your guests are waiting,” she says softly and all-too-sweetly. 

Guests. What a foreign word. Just yesterday it might have been “friends.” I suppose if I’m to adapt to this new way of life I have to learn the language. Maybe I'll take up couponing too, and talk about the seasonal Lenox sales at Macy’s. 

I take one last glance in the mirror before getting up. I try to unsee the wrinkles–which the makeup seems to have set into and amplified– and smooth down my silky black dress before exiting my room. 

On my descent down the stairs, I put on a half-smile for my guests waiting below. Meanwhile, panic sets in the pits of my stomach. My body goes cold and there’s a ringing in my ears. Can they hear it too? The air feels like it’s getting thinner- am I running out? I look again at my guests, who seem to have all clamored around the bottom of the stairs. My aunt is crying- why is she crying? Most of the others stare at me blankly. Or are they sad too? 

Each step I take feels deeper, heavier. I feel my lungs grow hot. Can I exhale? Will there be enough air for another breath? The ringing in my ears intensifies to a monotonous, ceaseless pitch. I want to run back up the stairs, but my legs feel paralyzed, and a force from behind me seems to be pushing against my back, pushing me to the bottom. I grab onto the stair rail as a vain attempt to fight back. 

“Happy birthday sweetie!” Aunt Karen blurts as she hugs me. But I barely hear her. Her words are muffled, buried. I only feel her warm tears drip down my icy shoulder. 

Her body felt like the crushing weight of one hundred pounds of rocks sitting on top of my body. 

The room is decorated with flowers. Countless bouquets sit in vases, wilting slowly, losing their beauty by the hour-- attempting in vain to bring the room alive. The bleak yellow lights of the kitchen bounce off the beige walls, people stand on the cold brownish tile, mahogany furniture litters the living room– it’s dark. It’s dark and it feels… grimy.  I look back up the stairs, where the windows illuminate the loft with bright, white light. 

She finally lets me go. “I’m sorry,” she says, wiping away a tear. “You just look so beautiful.” She grabs my hand and guides me through the sea of people robotically droning their Happy birthdays, One more year tills, and Welcome to adulthoods. I become thankful for the dull hum in my ears. 

Karen leads me to the kitchen, where she tells me she made her special mac and cheese casserole, and how she had to make a stop at Macy’s after the bakery for a cake cutter. Lenox, apparently, is having a sale. 

Reaching into the chip bowl, she puts her hand on my shoulder. “I remember my twentieth- it didn’t even feel worth celebrating. I was crying from midnight until.. well until I passed out,” she takes a second to laugh, “but I promise you’ll still feel like you’re nineteen for a couple more years.” 

I look at her, unable to speak. The air still feels thin. I still feel a chill settling in my bones. I still hear the ringing. My vision has dissipated into a smudgy, fish-eye lens. Concentrate on Aunt Karen, I tell myself. She’s working on a Cheeto puff, holding it between her short, boxy, french tip acrylics. Her teeth sink into the chip, stretching her nude matte lipstick across her chapped lips. She wipes the dust off on her blackish-blue Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and turns to meet my gaze. 

Her expression turns sad: frowning with her eyebrows scrunched together. “Oh baby, you’re as pale as a ghost.” She grabs a paper plate and begins to dish a large helping of casserole onto it. “Here, have some grub.” 

“Come on everyone! The birthday girl is eating… Dig in!” I faintly hear my dad announce. 

The rest of the party is dreary– if you can even call it a party. The adults cling to my mom near the kitchen while my small group of friends loiter in the living room awkwardly. I try to venture to both sides, but crossing the sea between the two becomes tiresome. I eventually decided to stay in the kitchen near my mom and listen to her coworkers– whose names I never cared to learn–tell me about how little I was when they last saw me. Like a broken record, All grown up, they repeat. 

It becomes intolerable. I tug on my mom’s shirt and whisper to her that I’m ready for cake. She nods to me and calls everyone to the dining room. 

My best friend, Gianna, sneaks up to my side and asks, “What are you going to wish for?” giggling excitedly. 

I’m losing my status as an ingénue. No longer a novelty. Losing my social currency by the day. Soon I’ll be genderless, invisible. Punished for a construct I had no input in. What a stupid question, I think to myself. What can be gifted to a dead woman? 

I take my La Monte-à-regret to the head of the dining room table. 

The crowd starts droning, “Happy birthday to you…” They’re gathered around the table end. Aunt Karen is crying again. Gianna’s recording.

The flicker of the lighter sounds like the release of a blade. I don’t flinch. I watch my mom light the candles. Two, and then zero. The pitch in my ear grows louder and higher, but I’m calm. I release my last breath to blow out the candles. 

Such a quick, clean death for my heinous crime, I suppose.

[sixoclocker]

Mushblob gives you this bag of chips for the 500

Its special bc he gave it to you

asnwering this quite late but thanks i love cheeto puffs

[gldnhrt]

kj apa, homosexual, trans-male + he/him → isn’t that malakai 'kai' latu? i’ve seen them hanging out with the vampires. i hear they're twenty-eight, but they’ve only been in alexandria for seven years. they seem to be flirtatious & outgoing, but also stubborn & opinionated.

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  001

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  malikai everett latu 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  kai ( his preference ) , mal ( accepts it but doesn't like it ) 𝐃𝐎𝐁  february 25, 1996 𝐀𝐆𝐄  twenty - eight 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂  pisces 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑  trans - male 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  he/him 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  demiromantic, homosexual 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍  barrington, illinois 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒  english, french. 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  firefighter

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  002

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌  kj apa 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑  red hair 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒  honey brown eyes 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓  5′8″ 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒  none 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒  none 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄  white tshirts, jeans, super casual vibes, jean jackets, hoodies, etc.

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  003

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  executive ( estj ) 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄  athletic, determined, outgoing, flirtatious, imaginative 𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄  impulsive, stubborn, opinionated 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  reading books, writing, bike rides, walks, music, painting, acting, modeling. 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 verse-bottom 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  puff cheetos

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  004

𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  unknown name and age 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  jasmine latu ( deceased ) 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒  none for all he knows ( but maybe a half sibling).

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  005

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒        ruby sinclair ( sex education ) , lucas sinclair ( stranger things ) , helen parr/elasticgirl ( the incredibles ) , audrey hope ( gossip girl ) , anthony bridgerton ( bridgerton ) , guzmán nunier osuna ( elite )

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  006

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

malina latu was born on febuary 25, 1996.   nothing really special that day, but for her mom it meant finally starting a family of her own.   even if the father was never in the picture.  malina was a miracle child. her mother had lost two babies in the womb before she was born.

mal was born a witch.

mal knew she was different. on the inside was not matching with her outside. so when she was very young, she told people that she preferred being called mal or malikai, or just kai.

kai started dressing up very tomboyish and he felt more like himself. most of his friends when he was younger became guys, and he himself became one of the guys.

kai was brought up to always respect his elders, those that were wise, and had plenty knowledge to give out.  but he was also taught to fight for his battles, and stick up for himself and stick up to those that weren’t able to do for themselves.

growing up without a father was always hard for kai, wishing that he had a man to look up to.  he was soft in his beginning years, but eventually things happened to him where he became hardened, making him have thicker skin.

kai always knew for a long time that he was different. he knew he was a male. so when he was fifteen he came out as trans. and after coming out to his mother, and telling her that he wanted to start his transition to a man, thanks to her, he was able to.

kai's legal name changed to malikai everett latu, and he had finished his full transition as a male when he was eighteen. he even felt stronger as a witch, and he never felt more himself in this stage.

he lost his mother when he was nineteen, and kai felt like his world had ended.  he had started to break more and more, using sex as a tool to numb the pain.

he started working out more, not wanting the depression, due to his loss of his mother and the insecurities of not being man enough. he eventually started to become a little toxic. becoming very masculine, cocky, etc.  

when kai was 21, he was tired of feeling alone in this world, and wondered about his father. was he alive? and if so why did he leave? and if he was, where had he been living this whole time?

when kai met a man stating that he knew the information of where his father was, it was like his old self was creeping back again.  he was given the name of the city he was at and that was it.

a few months later, kai moved to alexandria, and has been living there for seven years now.

after months with no information, kai felt like he had lost all hope. at this point, his father was probably dead, and he started to get more and more angry with the world.

on may 27, 2018, kai was declared dead.

the thing about death was, there could be ways of bringing them back to life, and having the blood of a vampire in your system meant you had a second chance.

kai had turned into a vampire.

his life was changed, but that meant it had to be a burden. he became a firefighter, always finding some way to prove to himself that he was still a person and not a monster he had become.

he is still seeking for the man that turned him, and hopes that one day he could find his father.

○ ′ 🩸  –––––––––––––––––––  007

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

FATHER:  kai had always craved a father, and when he found out who he was, and where he lived, he found his way to the city in hopes that the man would let him in, with open arms.  he doesn't have any information about him, only that he lived here. he wonders if he even exists at this point ( OPEN )

VAMPIRE SIRE:  the man that had turned poor kai, with his blood in his system.  for months, kai and the vampire had done plenty of things, even sleep with one another.  kai had daddy issues, and the vampire was there.  the vampire probably pitied his existents so he ended up killing kai while he slept, and kai died with his blood in his system.  ( OPEN )

[aarti-soni99]

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[erisdiamas]

Recalling similar excitement when she found out they were parts of a fusion, she couldn’t help but grin at the irony it all- ah, to be a happy child again over… the scrappy mess that her life has become.. oh well- that still wasn’t the point.. seeing Gem and Human put in this effort to make his birthday surprise much more special and how gentle they were walking him up dredged up feelings that she used to say she was long over- her throat felt dry.

Erisa skimmed over the Peridot and directed her attention to the so called perfect Quartz and the yellow insignia , wow- it appears that no matter the timeline or circumstances in them- the constant factor appears to be the disgusting obedience of a- pardon her language- fucking house mutt.. she could almost hear the big buff cheeto puff call her ‘Pink’ .. bottom line, the glorified body guard was passionately loyal in a way that the other gems aren’t- especially over a dead woman that barely spared her a glance and the other same dead woman who beat the shit out of her on multiple occasions.. she’s formidable, that’s all the girl could give in terms of pros.

Her negative perception of the Lapis grows malicious the more she sees of her and that ugly homeworld mandated navy dress- oh and the ungratefulness and the malice in her tone and the.. sociopathic tendencies.. honestly, it all made her happy that she’s clearly back in homeworld for Era 3 and not terrorizing their feelings or planet.

“The songs quite catchy- I could definitely workout to this, is it on Spotify? Sandcloud? Sucks there’s no recorder on the ship, its a very good tune.” Eris began humming the fusion’s tune bobbing her head as she heard the flying of fists and the sound of electricity circulating.

Continued | @erisdiamas

The visage nodded, "Fair... granted he is torn up about his interaction with Cherry, we could probably check today's early memories but considering how everything is going at the moment, it's probably gonna take a while to actually find him so the more we linger the worse its gonna get when we actually get to him."

"Yea... mmm, let's go this way." Human Steven replied pushing open a new walk way in through a decaying wall, and turned to Eris, and gently pulled her away from the inky pools in a protective manor as if she were an infant about to stick a fork into a light socket. "Eris, let's just stay away from the inky black goo please... I don't want you to get pulled down too."

Classic Steven looked over between them, seeing no change and letting out a soft sigh as he watched on to make sure no one would interrupt what was going on between them, worried about how everything was going.

[soft-ship]

Romantic F/O #tags masterpost

#better off together: all

Emmet and Rex (The Lego Movies) #master breaker: rex + #the special: emmet

Leon (Pokémon) #champion of himbos: leon

Bismuth and Jasper (Steven Universe) #made of honor: bismuth + #cheeto puff: jasper

Scott Howl (Monster Prom) #goodest boy: scott

Asriel Dreemurr (Undertale) #god of hyperdeath: asriel

Scorpia (She Ra POP) #princess of hugs: scorpia

Sheryl Goodspeed (Final Space) #mending the rift: sheryl

[messengerhermes]

This is a scrap I ended up cutting from Compound Fractures of the Heart, but I like it too much to keep it in my drafts, so you get it Tumblr:

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Kurt asks, the question fluttering up to the ceiling before drifting back down, something aching under the wispiness of it.

Todd grunts like Kurt poked him in the stomach, lurching up from where he’s sprawled beside the other mutant on his living room rug to look down at him, with heavy lidded eyes, “I mean, not anymore than I believe in the tooth fairy, but in case you do, who knows maybe all the roaches kept her tinkerbell ass from visiting my house and soul mates are a thing, why?”

Kurt sighs, crunching a cheese doodle inside the bag, enjoying the way it gives like old styrofoam under his fingers,“I just, Amanda had cried when I broke it off, saying that I was her one and we were meant for each other. And all I could feel was broken for not noticing this thing she felt so strongly over.” His tail weaves through the air in a wobbly arc as he turns his head to look at Todd, “Like I was skipping over this crucial thing and ruining her happiness with my own short sightedness.

“Dawg, I’m gonna say something rude as fuck,” Todd says, plucking the cheese puff bag from Kurt’s loose fingers and darting his tongue inside it. The blue mutant wrinkles his nose at the action and Todd flips him off.

“This is unusual?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow as he sits up on one elbow to look at Todd.

“Man, shut it and listen. Listen, ‘Manda’s gonna be just fine.” Todd says, tipping a bit as he leans in close and the room tilts with the motion, “She’s gonna find some other schmuck with nice cheekbones who sings her praises like a Hallmark card fucked an erotica anthology and he’ll want the ‘you’re my one and only for all eternity’ shit too and bam, she’ll have a soulmate.”

“Just like that?” Kurt asks, lips twitching into a smile.

Todd thumps the floor with his non cheeto hand, “Just like that,” He jerks, backpedaling when his sluggish brain catches how that comes off, “Not that you’re not great or are replaceable or nothing, but you’re not the only rainbow fish in the sea.”

Kurt hums, sinking back to the floor as he turns his eyes back to the ceiling, his tail curls lazily around Todd’s raised leg, a long warm line Todd can’t help but curl his fingers around.

“That book has a messed up message, you know?” Kurt says, “I first saw it in high school when we were reading to the Morlock kids. I hid it in a crack in one of the weird little side tunnels.” 

“That was you? Fuck, I wondered about that, but yeah, no shit, ‘mutilate yourself so other people can feel special’ isn’t the most,” Todd waves a hand through the air, searching for the words, “Emotionally chill message for a fucking five year old.” 

Kurt hums, “I think I would rather be alone than bribe people with pieces of my skin in exchange for friendship.” 

“Just give them chunks from one of those velour tracksuits, they won’t notice the difference,” Todd says, dropping his hand on Kurt’s knee, “But you’re changing the subject and hoping I’ll forget.” 

Kurt laughs, running a hand over his face, “No, I was changing the subject hoping I would forget. But thank you.” He squeezes the hand resting on his leg, “I appreciate the absolution.”

[shlutnutt]

You're done for

it simply looks like he said "you're done for" so thats the title

i like this too much for it to be written in like 20 minutes lmfao//kinda rushed through, wanted to write this fic idea before i'd forget

warnings: slight daddy kink, spanking, thigh riding, fingering, oral sex, kinda caught up in the end

"Babe.. what the hell are you doing here?" questions Kit in an insignificant whisper, wiping some rust off of his hands with an overused wash cloth. "I just wanted to see you." you admit, turning your head to the side to let out an evil smirk.

"You know im like.. working right, babe?" responds Kit, this time reaching over to the mini fridge to offer you a snack.

Kit, despite from being such a beloving gentleman, had his little soft and weak spots for you in which you were more than overly aware of, the thought producing a slight intense eye contact to form onto the cross-armed man patiently waiting for an answer.

"Please not now, Y/N." says Kit in his worned out sarcastic tone, 100% predicting that you were up to something.. not so very much appropriate for a mechanic shop. "Nobody's back here babe, really quick? 5 minutes?" you insist needing your lover more than ever.

"So.. what im hearing is, it takes me 5 minutes to cum?" Kit asked confusingly, offended really.

"Hmm.. I don't quite remember."

"Oh you don't?"

"Not quite really."

"Just kiss me already, Y/N" demanded Kit, already fed up with your distractions.

"What if I don't want to?" you tease, slowly zipping down the track suit top you wore, of course just to seduce him. Kit's eyes traced your body getting lost to the sight of your cleavage before coming back into his senses and harshly gripping his large hand around your neck, choking you, hard. Just how he knew you loved.

"You'll have to be quiet if you want me to touch you." Kit whispered onto your ear, which was honestly all he needed to say for you to nod desperately.

"All right, now be a good girl for me and take your clothes off." he instructed. You of course taking every single item of clothing you had on, allowing your underwear to stay on for him to rip off. "Just fuck me already, please." you pleaded attempting to grab his hardening member through his jeans, which he dodges completely.

"You know not to tell daddy what to do, gorgeous. Specially in that disrespectful tone." says Kit, gripping onto your wrists placing them on a table bending you down carefully, your ass arched up to an angle where he enjoyed the view.

Mentally preparing yourself for Kit's animalistic spanks, you managed to close your eyes tightly, just to feel your lace underwear being slowly shifted to the side. "Gonna be good for me, beautiful?" asked Kit, as his breath fanned your dripping cunt. "I promise i'll be good." you reply, soon feeling Kit's tongue sliding through your dampened folds without a warning, hearing a slight hum escape from his lips to your taste. You hum back as a reply to his tongue against your clit, earning a harsh spank onto your left ass cheek, making you yelp lowly in pain, just to receive another spank onto your right asscheek from the minimal sound you've created.

This time keeping quiet, you feel one of his massive fingers enter you, roughly pumping in and out whilst his tongue wasn't willing to detach itself from you. Nearing your release faster than regular from the sudden adrenaline.

Accidentally moaning now to his tongue forcing itself past your folds, you hear him get up, forcing your head to turn back to face him. Just to encounter Kit, sucking on his fingers dry whilst sitting on an old rusty chair.

"Ki-"

"Shut the fuck up and come here."

His demand taking you by surprise you frightenedly walk up to the man who only eyed you with dark seductive eyes. "Yes sir?" you perpetuate, whilst attempting to grab onto his member once again, recieving a hand slap.

"Bad girls don't get rewarded." was all he said before lifting you up to accommodate you onto his thigh.

"Wanna cum? Make yourself cum, since you can't listen." said Kit, looking down at you pathetically rubbing yourself onto his clothed thigh, which sent nothing more than a pleasurable pain.

While you continued to rub yourself on his thigh he smoked a cigarette, attentively watching down on you soaking up his jeans, your climax not being too far from arriving.

"That's right almost there" teased Kit, having memorized how your legs would tense up just right before cumming, "Fuck, Kit!" you yelled out, as you climaxed onto Kit's thigh, collapsing onto him.

"Wanna puff?" asked Kit completely dodging the fact that he had just got cummed on, whilst lifting up his near worned out cigarette towards your shaky lips.

"Fuck you, Kit." you bluntly reply, earning a soft forhead kiss from your beloved. "I love you too, my beautiful." he replied, admiring your exhausted self on his shoulder.

"Yo Walker, what was all that nois- Oh shit."

taglist: @divineruler @thatspookyagent @kaismessiahbb @kai-andersons-cheeto @evanmybeloved @billyhxrgrove @sinnersblood

(dont hesitate to dm if you'd like to be in the taglist!)

[evilwizard]

An evil wizard milks a cow.

The milk is green and glowing, how?

That’s his special wizard drink—

It helps him to do spells and think!

To make their cows produce this stuff,

Wizards feed them cheeto puffs…